It won’t surprise you to know that the day of the Budget (or any other fiscal event) is our busiest day of the year.
Having just about recovered from the mental scars of 2022 – bonus points for recalling that the three (three!) Budgets of that year were presented by Rishi Sunak, Kwasi Kwarteng, and Jeremy Hunt – all roads are now leading to the first Labour Budget in 14 years on 30 October.
So, to give you a little peek behind the curtain, here’s how Budget Day usually unfolds at Yardstick.
7.30 am
Think about how I should be having the sort of breakfast a sportsperson eats before a big event.
Realise how ridiculous it is to have chicken and pasta because it’s just “writing 1,500 words about Business Asset Disposal Relief”, not running 14 kilometres around Wembley in the Carabao Cup final.
8 am
Check some online news sources and realise that quite a lot of the speech has been trailed/leaked in advance. Start writing the Budget article with the knowledge that I can just delete anything that the chancellor ends up not announcing.
10.30 am
Head out and get the number 8 bus into the office. The bus stops outside a Tesco Express, so buy my body weight in biscuits, Jaffa Cakes, and tubs of flapjacks and brownies. I tell myself that this is to sustain the team during a busy afternoon when the truth is that it is an excuse for me to eat more chocolate chip cookies than I would on any other day.
11 am
Stagger breathlessly into the office (we’re on the third floor) carrying tons of Fox’s Crunch Creams.
12.15 pm
Head into a little quiet room, fire up the BBC website, and load the “live blogs” from a few reputable news sources.
12.17 pm
Mute the volume when I realise it’s still PMQs and that all I can hear is zoolike mooing.
12.25 pm
Make a last-minute cup of tea so it is as hot as possible when the chancellor stands up.
12.31 pm
Start replying to an email because I think I will have time, and then realise the chancellor has already begun. Have a mild panic.
12.33 pm
Remember to follow HM Treasury on Twitter X.
12.34 pm
Start tuning out when I realise that it’s going to be 15 minutes of percentages and GDP predictions before we get to the juicy stuff. Finish the email [see 12.31 pm]
12.51 pm
Ah, here come the actual relevant bits. Start typing furiously to try and quote the chancellor exactly, before quickly realising there is no need as there will be a transcript of the speech on the .gov website immediately after it is over.
1.12 pm
Raise an eyebrow at something unexpected.
1.15 pm
Idly wonder how [insert name] became the best person to steward the entire nation’s finances.
1.25 pm
Switch off briefly at mentions of R&D allowances.
1.34 pm
Listen to the first 60 seconds of the Opposition response, and then realise that it’s a broad waste of time.
1.35 pm
Make another cup of tea. Share highlights with anyone in the office who is interested. No one is, as halving the Dividend Allowance has about as much impact on the team as a change to the annual rainfall in Uttar Pradesh.
1.39 pm
Start to organise the announcements into sections and start writing the summary. Use direct quotes from HM Treasury’s X account, and fact-check any data against at least two other news sources.
1.51 pm
Realise I don’t have to delete anything I wrote at 8.15 am because all the advance leaks were correct.
2.30 pm
Finish a first draft. Then find the official Budget document online and search the PDF for terms like “pension”, “tax”, “ISA”, “allowance” and so on to check there’s nothing unexpected that has slipped under the radar (there is always something!)
2.45 pm
Send the article to a colleague to check. Eat biscuits.
2.55 pm
Send the article to a second colleague to check. Eat more biscuits.
3.10 pm
Edit the article in line with a colleague’s grammar and fact-check. Send the article to be proofread. Eat more biscuits.
3.23 pm
Deal with the first “Is it nearly ready yet?” chase-up from one of my team.
Resist the desire to immediately reply “I AM DOING IT AS FAST AS I CAN” and, instead, confirm that yes, it is imminent.
3.35 pm
Deal with proofreader’s edits, including a misspelling of the word “Budget” because it has lost all meaning.
3.40 pm
Send the completed Budget article to the team. Yell “Go! Go! Go!” or something equally inspirational.
3.41 pm
Collapse for 10 minutes, drink a strong tea, and eat more biscuits.
3.51 pm
Begin to answer the questions that start to be shouted across the office. Assist with sending Word versions of the article to those clients who need to get it compliance approved.
4.15 pm
Deal with a compliance officer asking where I got a piece of information by cutting and pasting the Budget PDF into an email and highlighting the small print on page 73.
4.25 pm
Have a mild panic when I read something on the Daily Telegraph website, only to realise that their journalist has got their facts wrong and that our article is correct. Add a comment to the Telegraph website pointing out the error (yes, this did happen in 2021).
4.38 pm
Start to manually check links, spacing, formatting, distribution lists and so on of dozens of newsletters to enable us to start scheduling them for distribution. Pressing “send” is genuinely the most buttock-clenchingly frightening moment of the day.
5.10 pm
Answer the phone to the first “I think you’ve got this wrong” query of the day. Calmly explain the reasoning to a client while inside feeling like someone at US passport control with a fake ID.
Anywhere between 5.30 pm and 7.15 pm
Help send the final newsletter for the day.
Anywhere between 5.35 pm and 7.20 pm
Head around the corner with the team for a well-deserved Madri.
Get in touch
If you’re a Yardstick member, and you haven’t already opted into our 2024 Autumn Budget update, you can do so here (there’s a cost of £150 + VAT for this).
If you’re not a Yardstick member, we can send you our comprehensive Budget summary for you to add to your website or mail to your clients on the afternoon of Rachel Reeves’ speech.
Send us an email and we’ll do the rest (there’s a charge of £195 + VAT for this service).
Any queries, please email hi@theyardstickagency.co.uk or call 0115 8965 300.
