Last week, the Yardstick team had the privilege of seeing Ed Darling take to the stage to deliver a workshop on confidence and public speaking.

If you’re not familiar with Ed, he’s a key speaker with Project Charisma and a specialist in helping people find their voice.

Ed brought a great mix of levity and personal experience to the stage and shared how he went from battling severe social anxiety to learning how to command a room.

I was inspired and, immediately following his talk, thought: “I need to write about this.”

Something Ed made very clear, and which I want to focus on here, is that confidence isn’t an innate personality trait. You’re not born with it. It’s a trainable skill.

So, let’s discuss how to do that from a psychological perspective.

Can you really fake it until you make it?

The concept of “fake it till you make it” is a popular confidence strategy. So popular, in fact, that you can find it emblazoned on posters, mugs, T-shirts, and the occasional scented candle.

Perhaps it feels like a cliché, but modern psychology suggests that “faking it” – when done intentionally – is actually rooted in science.

Try tricking your nervous system

Traditional psychology used to assume that your mind controls your body in a top-down process. Your brain feels something, and your body reacts.

Modern neurobiology shows that it can work just as potently in reverse.

Essentially, it’s the understanding that the full thinking cycle occurs across your brain, body, and environment.

So, when you’re nervous, your brain sends a signal to slump your shoulders, change your breathing, and shrink your body. By deliberately forcing the opposite physical cues, you’re able to break that feedback loop and send a new signal back up to your brain.

Indeed, cognitive neuroscience highlights a few ways this works:

• Expanding your physical posture can lower subjective anxiety.
• Forcing a smile can trigger a low-level release of dopamine and serotonin (happy hormones).
• Slow, deep breaths tell your parasympathetic nervous system that you are not in any physical danger.

The crux here is that you don’t need to feel confident in your mind to embody it. You can use your body to force your brain and nervous system into feeling secure.

Reframe stage fright as excitement

Weak knees, sweaty palms, Mom’s spaghetti… You probably know the feeling.

This is an adrenaline spike stemming from the thought of getting up on stage to perform.

A study from Harvard Business School showed that trying to calm down when you’re anxious is nearly impossible. That’s because anxiety is a high-arousal state, and calm is a low-arousal state. Your brain simply can’t drop gears that quickly.

Instead, the study suggests a reframe. Rather than saying “I’m nervous”, try “I am excited.”

It’s important to say this out loud, by the way.

You’ll still feel the adrenaline, but excitement and anxiety are physiologically identical. By relabelling the sensation, you reframe the perceived threat as an opportunity.

How your subconscious mind can help you out

Developed by psychologist Daryl Bem, self-perception theory proves that humans don’t always act based on existing internal beliefs.

Instead, we observe our own behaviour to decide what we believe about ourselves.

In practice, this could look like:

• Stepping up to a podium and delivering a compelling and confident speech, even if you feel terrified inside
• Your subconscious mind watching you do it and concluding, “Oh, I suppose we are the kind of person who is comfortable speaking in front of a room.”

Action often precedes confidence, not the other way around.

So, every time you fake authoritative behaviour, you’re building neural pathways that make it feel more genuine next time.

Authority doesn’t need to be loud to be grounded

If there’s one big thing I took away from Ed’s session, it’s that real, lasting presence doesn’t mean you need to put on a performance. Rather, you should focus on making your messages easy to hear, understand, and trust.

This is where we come in, and we’re great at it too.

Our focus is on helping you deliver your message in a way that’s clear, clean, and compliant. Whether it’s articles, guides, mailers, social media, or more, we’re here to help.

If that sounds like something you’re interested in, let’s chat.

Email hi@theyardstickagency.co.uk or call 0115 8965 300 to speak to us today.